Propriety

We take for granted the ways we exchange greetings, but these ways are laden with hidden meanings that tell a lot about the culture they develop in. And when greetings change, something about the culture changes too.

This is the Chinese character for “li,” an ancient concept developed in some of the oldest Confucian texts, such as _The Record of Rites_ (about 500 BCE). Li refers to “proper conduct,” and typifies the ways that social groups were expected to act towards each other. And for thousands of years, much of the Chinese culture was overtly hierarchical and there was an unchallenged acceptance of older, wealthier, and male people receiving deference from younger, poorer, or female. These social relationships were so ingrained that common exchanges in today’s Western cultures didn’t exist.

Terms that go along with English phrases like “hello”, “please”, “sorry”, “thanks”, and “goodbye” weren’t used in China the way that readers of this post would be familiar with, as social linguist Mary Erbaugh argues. These words can be used by anyone and in any set of circumstances in the English-speaking world. But in traditional Chinese culture, a whole different set of behaviors and words would have been required to demonstrate one’s social position with respect to the person spoken to.

Since 1980, however, China has integrated a more global approach to their greetings, and the Chinese Communist Party has deliberately encouraged the use of the “five courteous phrases” (ie, “hello/goodbye/sorry/thanks/please”) — these are impersonal, and are able to incorporate a more urban and broader community of strangers. And fascinatingly, these words have taken hold — Erbaugh reports that they have been picked up across the country and among different demographics. This suggests that the culture has changed, although class differences definitely remain.