Priapus

IN CASE you were wondering whether Ancient Romans worshipped a God of genitalia, the answer is yes, yes they most certainly did. Let me introduce you to the deity Priapus. He is really not difficult to miss.

Priapus was originally introduced to the Romans via the Greeks, as per usual. His gigantic erection was a source of shame for him in some myths, although in others not so much. He was also the God of gardens, and statues of him would be placed almost like scarecrows, or garden gnomes, in people’s yards. I don’t think Hobby Lobby sells modern expressions, however.

The fresco of Priapus shown here is from the Pompeii House of the Vettii, and shows the God weighing his organ on a scale against some vegetables. Romans depicted him in sculptures frequently, and a famous (among those who study such things) series of obscene poems was written about him in the first century called the _Priapeia_. The Ancient Romans enjoyed the bawdy humor. Here is one of them, (#49) translated into awkward 19th-century English:

“Thou, who art ‘customed to view around the walls of our temple/ Verse of a strain jocose rather than modest and chaste,/ Cease to be hurt by the song obscene, for verily ne’er was/ Wont our mentule (ie, penis) to wear eyebrow up-drawn in surprise.”.

In other words, the God tells the people who read the smutty poems at his shrine that they shouldn’t be offended, because that’s just his way (with a joke about raised eyebrows and penises).