Anathemius of Tralles the Comedian of Constantinople

This exquisite reverse of a Late Roman (c 400 CE) mirror is the closest object I could find that relates to one of the premier minds of antiquity, that of Anathemius of Tralles, who lived in the late 5th- mid 6th- centuries. He lived in the bustling capital city of Constantinople when it was at its apogee, full of the wealth and intellectual inheritance of Rome. Anathemius was famous in his time as one of the architects of Hagia Sophia — the most important building in Christendom for centuries — as well as mathematical texts that Arab scholars coveted during the Golden Age of Islam. But I like Anathemius because he was a mad prankster.

One account tells how Anathemius designed an elaborate simulation of an earthquake to take revenge on an annoying neighbor. He lived next to a man called Zeno, who frustrated the architect by blocking his view with some structure. When Anathemius failed his lawsuit against Zeno, he went all Mark Rober on the guy. Underneath Zeno’s floor, Anathemius attached some vats filled with water, and heated them up to produce steam that knocked and shook Zeno’s floorboards. Then, using his knowledge about mirrors, parabolas, and light, Anathemius shone a glare into Zeno’s eyes with a concave mirror. Thinking that lightening and earthquakes had surely struck his home, Zeno rushed outside in a panic — only to be mocked by his neighbors as the butt of Anathemius’ genius trickery.

Locals started calling Anathemius “Zeus the Thunderer” and “Poseidon the Earth-Shaker” afterwards. I love these humanizing stories. In both degree of intellect and distance of time, I am far removed from Anathemius — but I’d love to share some pints or have him over to dinner. . .